Mommy Wants a Timeout

In which I contemplate absurd moments in parenthood, occasionally attempt to refer to myself as a “triathlete” while keeping a straight face, and maybe post some random pictures of stuff I’m knitting

Holy Snotsicles, Batman! And Other Icky Triathlon Talk…

Yowsers, it’s cold outside…I’m pretty sure my perpetually-runny nose is going to freeze solid one of these days, and I’ll actually form snotsicles. However, my aversion to treadmills means I’m still running outdoors. (I’m on hiatus from cycling right now, and not just because of the weather…My bike and I really need to get some couples therapy, but that’s a story for another day.)

The ducks and geese at my local park are apparently on hiatus from open water swimming right now. Wimps.

Jesus Ducks (Get it? They're walking on...Yeah, you get it.)

Anyway, running through the above-illustrated park the other day, I was wiping snot from my nose onto the sleeve of my running jacket and wondering if that meant I needed to wash the jacket today or if I could get another run or two out of it. Then I started wondering what my non-runner friends would say about either the fact that I wipe my nose on my sleeve while I run, or the fact doing so doesn’t automatically designate it for the laundry hamper.

I’m pretty sure the triathlete community wouldn’t even consider the subject worthy of discussion…After all, they all pee in their wetsuits. (Oh, did you not know they did that? Well, newbie triathletes, if you notice a warm spot in the water while you’re warming up before your race, it’s probably not because they turned the lake heaters on.) As a matter of fact, my co-worker, a three-time Ironman, once described to me the proper technique for peeing from on top of your bike without soaking yourself. (It really only works for guys.) Clearly, triathletes have a high threshold for what the general population might consider disgusting.

The running community is just as bad. I ran last year’s Turkey Trot at the Oregon Zoo on a frigid morning in which the downhill course was made especially treacherous by the presence of all the frozen loogies coughed up by the runners ahead of me. (Moral of the story: Next time run faster so you’re ahead of the frozen phlegm.) Makes my snotsicles not seem so yucky, huh?

Of course, marathoners and those super-freak ultramarathoners are on a whole different level when it comes to the ick-factor. I just read a race report from an ultrarunner and triathlete who states that she has a firm policy against pooing her pants before mile 23 of a race…Made me wonder (but was afraid to ask) what her policy is after mile 23. When my sis-in-law ran the New York Marathon, she and her running buddy opted to pee in an alley rather than wait in the porta-potty lines; unfortunately, they didn’t size up their choice of location very well beforehand. When they stood up afterwards, they looked around and saw a whole row of apartment balconies facing the alley, packed with spectators looking down at them. Whaddaya gonna do? They waved up at their audience and started running again.

I hesitate to even ask, but I’m curious…Any other triathletes or runners out there have any funny/yucky stories to share? They make me laugh, even as they make me cringe!

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2 thoughts on “Holy Snotsicles, Batman! And Other Icky Triathlon Talk…

  1. kruzmeister on said:

    Thankfully I haven’t come across the ick factor yet, but I’m sure I will eventually. One thing’s for sure, I wont be eating any fibre for the week leading up to a race! – Simone 🙂

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