The Pink Flamingo Incident
Okay, so my preschooler threw the tantrum of the century the other day when I pointed out the pink flamingo on a puzzle, and explained that flamingoes are pink because they eat a lot of shrimp. Out of nowhere, he decided he despises the color pink, hates anything that is pink, hates whoever gave him the puzzle with something pink on it (sorry, Auntie Dawn), and hates God for making flamingoes pink. (Anyone who was acquainted with Kamran while he was two years old will find this particularly ironic, as he was obsessed not only with being a princess, but loved pink above all other colors.) Anyway, what’s a mommy to do while her son furiously attempts to scrub the pink off the flamingo on the puzzle, hollering at the top of his lungs? I posted a summary of the whole episode on Facebook, of course!
Now, a lot of my FB friends found this incident funny, some commiserated with Kamran on his dislike of the color pink, and a few even expressed surprise over flamingoes’ eating habits. Which leads me to wonder…Did they miss the point of my post entirely? (The point being, of course, what the hell? My kid’s freaking out that flamingoes are pink!!! And blaming me!!! And expecting me to do something about it!!! Does this seem normal to you, people???)
To be fair, it is quite possible that this is normal behavior for a preschooler, and my friends knew it. But as a first-time parent who was bewildered and astounded by this sudden rage, I will create a list of things that Kamran DID NOT throw a tantrum about that day (all of which I consider to be on the list of appropriate tantrum triggers for a child of his age):
1. Putting away his toys when he was done playing with them
2. Eating his vegetables
3. Washing his hands before dinner
4. Changing into his pajamas when it was time for bed
5. Going to bed on time
I of course could (and will) pat my own back at navigating the rough waters of parenting, and attribute these successes to my skill at avoiding potential conflict with creative strategy (“Hey, that green bean looks like a gigantic slug! Wanna eat it? Wow, that was so disgusting…Do it again!”)
But here are the things that he DID throw a tantrum about:
1. A flamingo on a puzzle being pink, after learning (thanks a lot, Mommy) that flamingoes are pink because they eat shrimp.
If someone can tell me how to avoid a pitfall like that one, I will award him or her the Parenting Medal of the Century. If not, I can only guess what the next tantrum will be about: The wheels on the bus going round and round instead of up and down? Pancakes being shaped like circles when Kamran prefers squares? Your guess is as good as mine…Stay tuned, and you’ll probably hear about it right here!