Back in the Saddle…Sort Of.

Wow, I better dust off this blog; it’s been sitting on the shelf for a while. I’d like to say that’s because my foot is all healed and I’m back to training 6 days a week, but that’s definitely not true. In fact, my foot feels fairly awful, my podiatrist keeps extending my medical leave from work, and I’m scheduled for a bone scan this Thursday. I am, however, out of my boot and into my running shoes with new custom orthotics. I’ve also been doing short rides on my bike on the stationary trainer, and though I’m having some numbness down my left leg and a serious case of saddle soreness, my foot doesn’t seem to be any worse for it.

I’m coming to terms with the fact that my Olympic-distance triathlon isn’t going to happen this year. Frankly, I’ll be lucky to eke out a sprint or two. But I know my foot will heal eventually, and I’m reminding myself that I’ve got plenty of chances left.

I did get a healthy dose of finish-line envy this weekend, as I shuttled my husband and his buddy Rick back from the Oregon coast after they finished the 80-mile leg of Reach the Beach, a cycle tour going from Portland, over the coast range, and ending in Pacific City. Milling around the finish area with my son, watching the riders cruise in, grabbing bagel samples from sponsor booths, and listening to annoying pop music blaring way to loud, all combined to give me a healthy dose of nostalgia for my races last year. My envy didn’t get in the way of my pride in my husband’s accomplishment, though. This guy works 60+ hours a week, sometimes for 10-12 days in a row, and still managed to fit in enough training to finish this ride with a smile on his face!

My husband (on the right) and his buddy Rick, sharing the iconic “We Reached the Beach” victory pose.

Before the guys finished the ride, my son and I got to spend some quality time on the beach, where I enjoyed the (rare) beautiful spring weather, and he did what little boys do best: dig in the sand, splash in the water, and trash a perfectly good pair of jeans.

A lovely day, all things considered.

Next week will be the true test of my ability to withstand race-envy, as I’m scheduled to volunteer at a 10K on Memorial Day. On one hand, it seems like a good way to stay involved with the running world even while I’m sidelined by injury. On the other hand, I’m a little afraid that it might drive me crazy to see so many people doing something I just can’t do yet! We’ll see how it goes, I guess. In the meantime, I’ll keep slogging away on the bike with the knowledge that someday soon I’ll be running down the road again, probably wishing I was home on the couch instead!

A Few Steps in the Right Direction

Without a boot, that is! Last week my podiatrist cleared me to start walking around “for an hour or two” without my orthopedic boot. It felt so great that I stretched it out to two hours the first day, three the second day, all of yesterday afternoon…I was so giddy with excitement I almost convinced myself a run around the block would be okay! Luckily my better judgment took over.

I don’t think I’m going to be able to resist putting my bike on the stationary trainer and riding for a half-hour or so this afternoon…I hope I won’t pay for it later, but the doctor did say biking shouldn’t cause too much of a problem. I’ve also been okayed to start kicking in the pool again, so I better stop using my injury as an excuse not to increase my yardage past one mile! You would think that being unable to do two of your usual forms of exercise would make you want to work extra hard on the third form, but in my case, it’s just made me lazy.

While I’m looking forward to getting back on the horse training-wise, some other things are going to suffer when I have less time devoted to them…Namely, my knitting, which has recently produced these two projects, and an accusation of being an “overachiever” by my knitting group:

Oh, well, I’m willing to sacrifice a little knitting time in the hopes I might still fit in a tri or two this summer!

By the way, since I know I’m not going to be up to running a race in the next month or so, I’m volunteering at a 10K for my local running club on Memorial Day. The race director suggested I could make some signs for my area of the course if “I’m into that kind of thing.” Any suggestions for inspiring and/or funny signs for a Masters’ 10K? Any of you runners/triathletes have a favorite sign you’ve seen in any of your races? Any and all suggestions welcome!

Hope to blog more happy progress soon!

Unreasonable Demands

We are 2-for-2 in spilled glasses of milk in our past 2 meals. We’re also 2-for-2 in me scolding the kiddo for not paying attention, and 2-for-2 in him responding with, “You’re not my mommy anymore! Now leave this house!” Parenthood rocks.

My husband has been working 14- to 16-hour shifts for most of the past week and through the weekend…He’s in the middle of 10 days without a day off. I want him to come home. I also want my son to start behaving like the sweet 2-year-old he used to be, or the sweet 4-year-old everyone promised I’d get. (Everyone who told me 3 is the worst, and 4 gets so much better: Thanks for creating false hope.) This whiny, demanding, tantrum-y child is a stranger to me.

The happy baby he used to be…

The sulky teenager look he’s practicing now.

Since I have no reasonable expectations that either of the above wishes will come true anytime soon, I might as well dish out a list of other equally unlikely demands.

1. I’d like the Seattle Mariners to have a winning season. This year.
2. I’d like my podiatrist to clear me for running by the middle of May.
3. I’d like to get back on my bike soon, and have it magically fit me perfectly…Oh, and I’d like to discover at the same time that I LOVE cycling!
4. I’d like the other moms at preschool to want to ask me for fashion tips because I always look so chic. (Probably better stop wearing ratty sweats at drop-off time if I want this to happen.)
5. I’d like Starbucks to develop a no-calorie caramel macchiato that doesn’t taste like artificial sweetener.
6. While we’re on the subject of coffee, how about designing a blend that whitens teeth?
7. I’d like whatever wild creature that keeps digging up my sugar snap peas to cease before I don’t have any left.
8. I really, really want to go for a teensy, weensy jog.

Gotta go now…Time to drag the little monster out to the car while he complains about how won’t go to school because “school is boring, and I’m already smart enough.” Rest assured, when I pick him up in four hours, he’ll be full of stories about all the fun things he did that day, and how funny all his friends are.

And then we’ll do it all again tomorrow.

And So It Goes On…

Today marks my 34th day in this prison, and the judge has just decreed that I shall spend at least two more weeks contained in its dreary confines.

All hope seems lost, and it is with bitter nostalgia that I bear witness to the hordes of joggers and cyclists who pass by, oblivious to my envy. Oh, they take their freedom so lightly, just as I did before this terrible tragedy befell me…

Now that the days grow longer and the sun grows brighter (or, at least, the rain grows slightly warmer,) how I long to break free from my velcro-and-plastic shackles, don my sweat-stained Lycra, and run for miles down the endless road. (Or maybe just to the end of the block and back.) Instead, I sit inside with this cold, unforgiving keyboard as my only companion. At least it provides some distraction from my miserable reality…

But wait, the Small One…He demands my attention, and threatens to take away my silver friend, so that he might play his “Computer Game…” No! Whatever shall I do now??? Well, there’s always knitting needles and an endless supply of yarn to pass the time with, so all is not lost…

My imprisonment continues...

*I promise that one of these days I’ll stop complaining about my injury. Today’s just not that day.

Image credit: footankle.com

Minimalists, Meet a Maximalist

While I was in Maui last month, a friendly stranger asked me about the orthopedic boot on my foot, so I told him about the half-marathon training and associated stress fracture. He listened to my story, then patted me on the shoulder, smiled paternally, and advised, “When you’re healed up, go and get yourself some good minimalist shoes and start running in those. You’ll never get injured again.” He was obviously on the bandwagon:

My favorite part of this video, and the concept of minimalist shoes in general, is how much money you can spend on shoes to run “barefoot!”

Just as well that my well-meaning friend in Maui doesn’t know I have an appointment with my podiatrist next week to fit my brand-new custom orthotics.

By the way, before you minimalist runners get on my case, I think barefoot running is a great idea…for some people. I also think sturdy shoes and orthotics can be a good idea for overpronators with freakishly flat feet like me. Whatever keeps you running, right?

Really Annoying People

Unless it's me you're talking too, of course...

You know those people who are all, like, “Oh my gosh, when I can’t exercise, I feel so terrible” and “I’m so addicted to running” and “Being fit is just part of my lifestyle.” Yeah. Those people are SOOOOO obnoxious, flaunting their superior fitness and their healthy lifestyles. You know what, people? You complaining about how sacred your exercise is just makes us non-fit people want to beat you up…If we could build up the energy to get off the couch and do it. That’s really how I feel…People who talk incessantly about their exercise routines, and, conversely, complain when their exercise routines get disrupted, are colossally annoying. Except…

Since I’ve had this boot on my foot, and can’t run or bike, I’m just so depressed. I can’t sleep well, I feel my thighs turning to jello…All my muscles are just wasting away, I’m sure of it. Those running endorphins are addicting, you know? Once you get used to it, you can’t just quit cold turkey. It’s like I don’t even have a choice; I HAVE to exercise. Plus, I’m losing so much ground towards my summer goal of an Olympic triathlon (the distance, of course…I’m not London 2012 material.) And swimming laps with a pull buoy is getting really boring…

Oh crap…I’ve become the person I hate: The Fitness Freak. I’d just like to make a blanket apology to all of my friends who have had to listen to me complain about my injury and my lack of ability to train.

To take the heat off myself, here’s a list of other people who really annoy me. Let’s point fingers at them instead:

1. Women who brag about their newborns sleeping through night at, like, one week old. It wasn’t anything you did, trust me. Next time around, you’ll probably have a REAL baby.

2. Ditto for mothers who had no trouble with breastfeeding.

3. People who read Dostoevsky, Faulkner, and the Brontë sisters without being enrolled in a literature course. Yay for you, smarty-pants. Now let me get back to my cheap paperback mystery.

4. People who wear their Bluetooth earpieces all the time, even when they’re not talking on them. It doesn’t make you look busy or important, people.

5. People who misuse apostrophes. (Or should I say, “apostrophe’s?”)

Okay, that’s enough really annoying people to get me off the hook for right now, isn’t it? And I promise, I will be a much nicer and more interesting person when I can FINALLY go for a RUN already!

Picture credit: you-r-annoying.blogspot.com

Erroneous Lessons My Son is Learning From Preschool Television

My broken foot and subsequent activity restriction has given me the opportunity actually sit down with the kiddo while he gets his daily 30-minute ration of TV. I’m doing my best to find age-appropriate shows for him to watch, and Nick, Jr. (“The Smart Place to Play”…and/or turn into a couch potato) is where we find his favorites. While I appreciate the interactive nature of most of the programming, and like the fact that my son is learning a few words in foreign languages, I do wonder about some of the unintended lessons these shows might be teaching. For example:

1. To stop a thief, it is sufficient to simply yell, “Swiper, no swiping!” (Dora the Explorer) Should work equally well when the school bully tries to grab your lunch money…He’ll just say, “Awww, man!” and walk away.

2. Baby jaguars make great pets. (Go Diego, Go!) Yeah, kid. Play your cards right, and you might (MIGHT!) get a goldfish. But don’t push your luck.

3. Marshmallow casseroles are part of a balanced diet. (Wow Wow Wubbzy) “Mom? Can I have some more marshmallow casserole?” “Not until you finish your doodleberry pie!” At least on Wonder Pets, they snack on celery.

4. It’s perfectly okay for a preschooler to wander off accompanied only by a monkey and/or baby jaguar, as long as they have a map or rescue pack with them. (Dora/Diego) Actually, that’s a pretty frequent theme in a lot of preschool shows…Seriously, Where are the parents???

5. Being a spy is an age-appropriate activity for a four-year-old. (Dora the Explorer: Super Spies 2) Okay, I admit, I may have a secret fantasy about being a lady James Bond (and being James Bond’s lady, but that’s another story); however, I’m not sure I want my son to pursue a hobby that involves using gadgets to invade others’ privacy. To be fair, though, this episode demonstrated a lot of necessary spy gear (dark glasses, cameras, bouncy balls that turn into boats or getaway bicycles), but it didn’t really explain what they should be used for. (Or what a spy is, for that matter.)

Still, these TV shows beat the heck out of most G-rated movies in terms of appropriateness for a preschooler. I’m still trying to minimize the effects of Horton Hears a Who and its use of the words “idiot” and “boob,” as well as the old lady v. lion fistfight in Madagascar 2. I’m telling you, these visual media are a minefield when it comes to parenting. It’s almost enough to drive a mother to take her kid outside to play or something…

What I’m Filling My Time With Now That I Can’t Run or Bike

This is what I had when I went to bed the other night...

The next morning, they'd multiplied...

They're joined by a blind bunny...

Then a member of another species...

"Well, hello, handsome!"

"Together, we can dominate this primitive society!"

"Help! A giant!!!"

"My darling, wake up! The giant is leaving! We're still alive!!!"

"Mommy, are you done acting crazy now? Can we please color a picture or something? And Caliban's not supposed to be on the dining table!"

Some Really Bad Jokes

This morning’s visit to the podiatrist yielded the following diagnosis: “Your foot is really angry right now.” I’ve been banned from using the elliptical trainer, the stationary bike, and doing any more walking than absolutely necessary. I’m only allowed to swim if it doesn’t make my foot hurt during or after the workout. Basically, my triathlon training will be pretty minimal over the next month, which seems like a bad joke; after all, my whole goal in training for the half-marathon was to get super fit for the upcoming season, and instead I wound up with a stress fracture!

But I’m doing my best not to dwell on the negatives right now…Instead, I thought I’d share a few really bad jokes, courtesy of my 4-year-old:

Q: “What does a ghost panda eat?”
A: “Bam-BOO!”

“Knock-Knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Interrupting Cow.”
“Interrup-”
“MOOOOOOO!”

Q: “You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, so what are you in-between?”
A: “You’re a-peein’!”

Q: “What did one tree say to the other tree?”
A: “You’re a snoogle-doogle bonky-boo!”

Okay, his dad and I are still trying to figure out that last one. But it’s hard to stay too grumpy when the kiddo is doing his standup routine!

Also cheering me up at the moment is the fact that the triathlon I was planning to make my Olympic-distance debut at on June 10th also has an aqua-bike division this year. So if my foot isn’t up to running 10K, I still have that and a sprint tri to choose from…See me trying to stay positive???

Back to Reality…

But reality kind of sucks right now…Can’t run, can’t bike, and the kiddo is really sick of hearing me say, “Mommy can’t chase you right now…She has an owie on her foot.” So instead of reflecting on my current reality, I’ll sit on the couch eating caramel-macadamia nut clusters and reflect on our week in Maui.

How’s this for an auspicious beginning to a vacation? I’d already made the unfortunate trip to the podiatrist that earned me an immobilizing boot and an admonition that “You’d better come back from Hawaii with a tan that ends just below your knee!” Then we get to the airport and learn that our flight has been delayed 15 hours, until 1 am, because a bird flew into the plane engine. (In the midst of the adults’ discussion of this inconvenience, my sweet little guy pipes up, “Did the bird die?” Oh, that innocence just about breaks my heart sometimes.) Many hours later, we find ourselves in Maui in the middle of the worst storm to hit the islands all winter…Flooding! Wind! Lightning! Welcome to vacation!!!

But it did get better from there. Maui’s winter rain is, at worst, a heckuva lot better than Portland’s. And after a couple days, the rain slacked off, and though the seas were still choppy, I got some great ocean swims in. Nothing too demanding, though; when this is what you’re seeing underwater, it’s tough not to slow down and check it out:

By the way, all those pictures were taken by my husband…He had the benefit of snorkel gear. (Actually, I rented gear too, but when it came down to it, I trusted my own breathing apparatus more than that tube thingy that kept filling up with water.) Here he is, showing off his superior grasp of all things technical and complicated:

The orthopedic boot didn’t slow me down too much. (Partly because I only wore it when we weren’t on the beach, which was about half the time we were there.) I hiked down to here:

But not up to here:

And I probably shouldn’t have walked out here:
But I did it anyway, and managed not to trip over the lava rock or into a tidepool.

The three generations of my family that took this trip with me did a great job of distracting me from my injury, and they forgave me for staring wistfully at the dozens of runners along the beach paths and highways. But now we’re home again, there are no tropical fish to swim with, and the boot is still firmly secured to my foot…Whatever will I distract myself with now? These macadamia-nut clusters are pretty good, and it’s only a week until the Mad Men premiere, so I’ll do my best to muddle through. But what I wouldn’t give for a teensy, weensy little five-miler right now…

The whole family (boot included)